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October 2005

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October 18, 2005


Terry Wilkins

Dear Mike-
Thank you for the update about Max's funeral. I have been thinking of all of you and wondering when the funeral would be. The story about the dogs was so touching. Leave it to Max to make a statement in a big way at the funeral lights, no power. It's hard to believe that he's gone from us. I was so looking forward to seeing him again on my next trip to DC next month. We had talked about it the last time I talked to him in September. I had hoped to "beat the clock", but it was not to be. Peace and comfort to you, Mike. God bless! I feel like I know you, through Max, and hope that sometime we will meet.


It's been eight days since I've heard the news. Eight days of bewilderment and absentmindedness as I struggle through each day trying not to let my thoughts wander to Max. I haven't cried and I haven't prayed in any of that time. I haven't sent my condolences through comments on the blog. I haven't made time to give my mind over to a great loss.

Today I read about the dogs saying goodbye to someone irreplaceable in their lives. After I read that, then the tears started to fall. I know what those four legged creatures meant to him. Thank you Mike for sharing this experience with me and all others who loved him. Thank you Max for being part of my life.


What about Uma Kitty? Max always joked that Uma was incidental (she begs to differ) but I know he loved her and took the best care of Her Fatness. I can only imagine trying to haul her squalling self to a funeral home....when Max and I lived at Ansley Court (in Macon), each room had a theme. He decorated my old, high-ceilinged bedroom in a smoky taupey mauve and christened it "The Frenchwoman's Bedroom" after a beautiful, out of print book he had given me for my birthday one year (and in which he had written on the inside leaf: "Dearest April~
For the Frenchwoman in me and in all of us. Happy Birthday! Love Max" still cracks me up) Anyway, the living room was called "Gertrude Stein's Paris Apartment" because we had painted the walls French yellow or Cowslip 4 and he had done an entire wall of women's portraits from floor to ceiling. It was gorgeous and people never failed to comment on it. He gave me one of the oils of the women a few years ago and I am trying to collect my own wall of women now, although I just don't have his touch. One of so many things I will miss about my dearest friend.

Bonnie (Boy George Girl)

Mike, thanks for the update. I'm glad that Max's service was nice. I can't imagine why he would turn the lights out during the Norah Jones song. He loved her! Maybe it was just for drama- you know Max! Tee hee!

I feel bad for the animals; they were so attached to him. But I'm glad that they got to "say" goodbye.

It is so hard to think about Max being gone. However, I am sooooo glad that I ever knew him,and I just have to count that blessing. I am planning on having a margarita tonight, so I will toast to Max.


Thank you Mike for sharing such beautiful stories. I see Max's hand in everything and his love. To want even his beloved animals the opportunity to say goodbye was totally Max. I think we can all thank you for carrying out his last wishes. And why is it I can see him standing by a switch, throwing it and laughing.

Somehow I think you need not worry. The rooms will come together and perhaps you'll know if Max is pleased if the lights stay on or go out. Please take care of yourself and give the dogs a hug from the MSC Library staff.

We love you here Mike, for taking such good care of our dear friend and colleague and should you be passing by, please stop in to see us.


Thank you for sharing the details about the services for Max. I know how he loved those dogs for I too am a dog lover and we shared many chats about how wondeful four-legged friends are. Thank you for your courage and strength and for taking care of Max. I will miss him.


How very touching to hear about the dogs. I'd never thought about that, but I can see it's a wonderful idea. Thanks for continuing to share these things with us.


Dear Mike,

I recently stumbled onto Max's website through the Knitters' Tattoo site. I followed the link of Max's tattoos because I'm currently teaching a knitting class that has three men registered for it and I'm looking for resources for them.

Much to my great sadness, I also read of Max's recent passing. I generally don't write to blog owners, but I just had to write in response to your observations about Max's care and passing.

I want to thank you for maintaining the blog so that his story could be shared. And it made me consider the true power of our wired(-less) age. You have crafted a beautiful tribute to this wonderful man.

Many blessings upon you and yours.

Nancy Cardona
[email protected]


Thanks, Mike. Keep us posted on how things are going. It is so disheartening when a blog suddenly ends. I appreciate your keeping it, and Max, alive.


I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had too many myself, and words fail me. Hugs to all.


I posted a blog entry today, a little thanks to Max. It's at if you would like to read it.


I was just strolling my knitter's tattoo gallery, and saw Max's tattoo and had to hop over here to send you light and love and tell you you're still thought of, Mike. Hope you are feeling strong. Know that people think of you and Max. Thanks for keeping this blog up online.



We have not met, I did not know Max. I discovered Max's site from the knitters tattoo gallery. I have been reading the entries from both You and Max and am touched by the words and the love that come from the words written. Thank you so much for sharing.

Keith Brown

AS Max's 42nd birthday came and past Sepetember 16th, I have a heavy heart wishing I had him here to remind him that he was older than me. As I approach 40 myself, I wonder what it might feel to outlive a good friend...gotta make it to 41 I guess. It's so weird...I've lost grandparents and realtives alike, but none has affected me as much as losing this very close friend and long time roommate. Not being able to talk on the phone is the hardest. And I suppose that one day this website will be dismantled and I won't be able to have even this. Max, I miss you so much.


Max, you still pop into my thoughts from time to time. I just wanted to drop a note and say "hi." It's hard to believe that three years have passed now. You may be gone, but you're definitely not forgotten!


Sending thoughts your way, Mike. Cari remembered Max today ( )and I wanted to say I do remember, and miss him. xo



Hope you're doing quite well as the fifth anniversary approaches. I bookmarked this website years ago and swing back by every now and then to remember Max. Glad I got a chance to meet you that one night in DC many years ago when Max was well. Just thinking of the two of you makes me glad for my life with German now. Max still inspires me after all these years. I hope never to lose that. Good luck to you and may love always fill your heart.


Hi Max. Have been thinking about you lately, especially with Rick Santorum surging in the polls. You were always such a big fan of his-- I'm hoping you're out there somewhere and that you can haunt his dreams and wreak havoc during his campaign speeches! :-)

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