How Soon Is Now?

I have a Fairy Godmother......

I Shall write to you soon.

Sunday I would have liked to have died......

Well actually it was Monday morning.  It was hideous.  The vomiting was unlike anything this body has experienced in the last 40 years.  And all for a few little candied orange slices. Of course they could not be the chic Little candied orange slices from Godiva, oh no, I had the misfortune of barfing my guts out on the two packs for three dollars kind of candied orange slices from WalMart!

Gentle readers, I did not eat two whole packs, merely three pieces.  Three deadly pieces.
My stomach which is normally distended to the size of a honeydew was now the size of a basketball,  Picture an eighty year old, 144 lb, 5'8"tale pregnant man. gruesome to say the least. 

It felt as is there was a he loves me he loves me not game being played while the muscles alone my spine were being ripped away one by one amidst giggle and laughter, by Satan.  (JUST SO YOU KNOW I AM NOT NOW, HAVE NEVER BEEN, OR PLAN ON WORSHIPING SATAN IN THE FUTURE)

Through the narcotic induced haze that has become my nocturnal life I remembered the time honored secret weapon..............

ONE ALWAYS FEELS BETTER AFTER THEY VOMIT!

So vomit I did, without a spoon I might add, or even a finger ever so gingerly tickling the back of my throat. And yup, It was the orange slices but we will just leave it at that.
All for now...........

What Does One Wear To Ones First Chemotherapy Session?........

The things I have to worry about on a day to day basis.  Should I dress warm or cold.  I was there today for some IV therapy (bolus) and was very comfy.  but what if.....I guess the answer is comfortable layers.  It is getting to the point where I don't care if they all match but I want them to be clean.

My sense of smell and taste are freaking me out!  Water does not even taste good to me anymore.  Garlic cooking in some olive oil on the stove smells like heaven but if I smell it on someones breath later it will literally make me vomit.  Trust me, I know.  UGH!  I do so love garlic too!  I can't wait to see how the cancer scourge plays trick on my senses next.  It is killing my sense of hunger.  I always want to lose a few pounds.  Four years ago I topped the scales at 209 lbs.  Yesterday I was in the oncologists office fully dressed in office attire and weighed 149 lbs.  Ten days previously i weighed 174 lbs.  I was afraid to get my hair cut because I thought I would look like a concentration camp victim.  I got it cut and it look ok, better actually.  My back is all !@#$%^ up as well.  I can not stand straight anymore.  I slump like a 90 year old man.  the distension in my stomach is pulling on my back muscles which leads to the contorted back.  I just wear baggy shirts.  but I look hideous.  It is hideous.

maybe I will take a picture of it to show you all.  I look like a 5'9", 140 lb, six month pregnant septuagenarian. 

Shall we think of baby names?

Now, most of you who know me know that I am not fond of children in stretches of time longer than say, oh, FIVE MINUTES!

My greatest fear at this time is God is preparing me to become Rick Santorum's wife in my next life, replete with massive amounts of home schooled children running amuck.  The mere thought sends shivers up my spine.  At least if I were that close to that !@#whole i would have a snowballs chance in H E double toothpicks of helping to bring down his campaign.......Now see, even with death knocking at my humble democratic door I can see the silver lining in any bad situation!

And I might add Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Santorum's campaign needs to be brought down....I just hope Larry Flynt finds something, oops, I am sure he probably has!  Maybe If I am really good and eat all of my peas God will let me livelong enough to see that bigot lose his next election.  Hope So!

All For Now!............

Yesterday, a small flicker of light......

Last weekend my Sister Amy, her husband Sage, and Stepmother Grace visited.  It was very laid back and quiet but we had a ball. 
Amy is a few months into her first pregnancy and she looks HUGE!  She is a tiny girl and we were teasing her about the fact that she finally has, ahem, a chest.  Pregnancy will do that to you, so I have heard. hahahahaha!

We got some more good news yesterday afternoon.  Amy and Sage are going to have a baby Girl.

See below:

We had a lot of fun this weekend coming up with possible baby names, most of them can not be mentioned in what I like to think of as a "classy" public forum.  We can talk about cancer, and death till the cows come home, but we must never speak of some of the baby names that crossed our lips last weekend. All for now......

Cancer Is A Bite in the !@#!.......

I am a 40 year old Medical Librarian living in Virginia recently diagnosed with a terminal form of cancer. 
I have been very blessed with an abundance of friends and family the past forty years. As some of you already know, the emotional and physical toll just talking to people on the telephone explaining my condition was getting to be more than I could handle. I knew there was a better way....blogging.
It may seem strange or distasteful to blog "my transition", or the "leap into the unknown", or just plain "death"! But oh well, get over it! If you don't like it or find it to maudlin, !@#$ OFF! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
It's my Death and I will blog it if I want to!!!!!!

I will specifically leave the form of cancer out of this public forum, and for good reason. I do not want every nut case wacko lunatic sending me miracle cures, or asking me if I have tried some new strange root they just found on the bottom of the ocean in the middle of Idaho. So please , If we discuss the type of cancer i have offline be kind and do not mention it while leaving comments on the blog.

I will try to post everyday, or Mike will, or possibly my Mother, JoAnn. 

I figure this is the best way to keep you all informed. Just because I don't take every call it does not mean I do not love you and do not fully appreciate those who are thinking of me. This is the way I have to deal with things right now. I may feel differently in a few weeks. I do love you all for visiting and hope to hear from you regularly!  All for now........

-Max

Well, The new site is up and running.....

This is a new site that I thought I might give a try.  So much has happened in the past eight weeks with my health and the like that i thought a blog might be a great way to keep people abreast of my situation.

It has been very exhausting physically and mentally trying to explain what is happening to / with me to different people OVER AND OVER again.  I just had to stop.  I could not take it anymore so this is what I am going to try in the meantime.

It was getting to the point where I wouldn't return calls anymore because I always ended upset or physically and emotionally exhausted.  And quite frankly it really is just about me, what I want, how I want to deal with it all, and there is no room for compromise.  Please don't push me, it only makes matters worse.

I hope to post here often , as will Mike to keep all who are interested on top of all things Max.

I will get into more detail in the next couple of days, but this is a start.

All for now.....